Baby Got Back

Look at that girl with the big ole booty

First Female Heisman trophy winner??

Practicing her karate moves



Please, no more pictures

You know that episode of Friends where Ross gets Emma to laugh by singing Baby Got Back to her? Well I had one of those moments the other day when I was trying to calm a fussing baby. I had my classical music playing on the iPhone while I was swaying with Curran, when all of a sudden Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston came on. Well, since she was being quiet for the moment, I didn't want to jinx it by switching the music to something more intellectually stimulating, so I just went with it. There I was singing Beautiful Girls to my 3 week old while swaying and dancing in the living room. It kept her quiet though. I think she liked the catchy beat.

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We have a lot of good days around here, but boy do we have some doozies too. This motherhood thing ain't easy. And if anyone disagrees with me I would like to know her secret. Curran had another scream fest last night until 10:00 and nothing I did would calm her down. I just don't get it. It kills me to see her upset and makes me feel like a failure when I can't figure out what's wrong. And then I get frustrated which probably just makes the whole situation worse. I think she has some stomach issues that cause her to get so upset, but I can't seem to do anything to relieve them. It's crazy that someone you love more than anything in the world can bring out such frustration. I thought I could imagine how much I would love my child before I had her, but really there is no way to anticipate or describe the feelings of love that come with having a child. But with that amazing emotion also comes anxiety worrying about her safety constantly and pain when I see her upset. It literally hurts my heart to see her cry. I just hope we can get through these rough moments quickly. As my mom says, it could be a lot worse, she could be having the meltdowns in the middle of the night. But luckily she goes down perfectly during the night after her feedings. Maybe once she gets more into a routine things will get easier??? But every time I feel frustrated, I try to remember how blessed I am to even have a healthy (although fussy) baby in the first place. (Hopefully you don't think all my ranting makes me sound like a bad mother, but there have been some tough moments these first few weeks, and it makes me feel better to blog about what I'm going through. I think the worst thing about being a new mom is feeling like you are alone, so maybe by being honest with myself I am helping someone else not feel so alone. But don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my life right now for anything in the world.)

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Anyway, enough of all that. We had our first trip to the grocery store today. Now that my mom is gone and dinners from friends have come to an end, I needed to go get some things to cook this week. I put her car seat on the front of the grocery cart like I see everyone else do, but because of my short stature, I couldn't really see over the top of the car seat. So I was having a little trouble navigating the aisles. I thought I had finally figured out a good system when I was cruising along and all of a sudden I heard, "Whoa whoa whoa!" Yeah, I got into an accident with a little old man on a motorized cart. I apologized profusely, but he didn't seem to be too accepting of my apology. So I quickly moved along from the scene of the crime. I was almost done shopping when I rounded another corner and who do I almost hit...again...the little old man. He didn't look too pleased to see me coming. So I bee-lined it to the checkout before I could cause any more damage. Then the man in line behind me said in reference to Curran, "If you don't want him, I'll keep him." So Curran got called a boy for the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. She did have on a white outfit, and our car seat is gender neutral (if not slightly masculine), but she had on her white and pink monogrammed bib and there is a pink pony pull toy thing on the handle of the car seat. Oh well. I got called a boy many a times growing up, even though I had long hair. But I was such a tomboy and usually had a hat on. But I survived, and she will, too.