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Anyway, I had my 6 month postpartum OB checkup this morning. Looking at all those pregnant gals in the waiting room made me wish I was pregnant (more envy, I guess)., which is weird for several reasons: 1) I didn't even really enjoy being pregnant the first go-round, if you recall from some of my earlier posts. My secretary is pregnant with her first baby, so she asks me tons of questions, and it makes me wish I could remember more little details from my pregnancy. Talking about it makes me nostalgic. I think now that I know who was in there for those 9 months, it makes the process to get her here seem so much sweeter; 2) I still have a very new baby, one who is still not sleeping great consistently, so why in the world would I want more sleepless nights in the near future? and 3) when Curran was a newborn and had colic I told myself that I could not go through those newborn days again for at least another 3 years. And I really do want to enjoy Curran as an only child for a couple of years before adding another little Quinn to the mix. But still, for some reason lately I have been wishing I was pregnant. But not bad enough to actually go down that road again so soon! :)*After re-reading this post, I'm afraid that I come across sounding like a bit of a brat. I am very happy with all aspects of my life! And I don't always wish I had something that I don't. I just think that in life it's easy to feel like we have to "keep up with The Joneses," and the blog world can kind of foster that thinking at times, for me anyway.
5 comments:
I can totally see what you are saying about blog envy! A lot of times I read other peoples blogs and it makes me not want to write in mine because I don't think I'll have anything as interesting to say. I think it is perfectly normal to feel that way (and you don't seem like a brat at all:)
ML, I fall into that trap, too. Life can seem rosy on paper when you're looking at a dot in the middle of the page, so to speak, (i.e. only getting a glimpse of the picture) but it's all in how you spin it and it's all about the angle. You go right on keeping it real and write about whatever you want. You'll thank yourself later. I mean, don't we really blog for ourselves and for our families?
And p.s., I totally know what you mean about the wishing to be pregnant again - I miss it, too! That's another thing that looks rosy in hindsight, though, but I guess if it didn't then nobody would have any more, would they?
I know what you mean, and I'm guilty of it myself. Mom always told me, "There'll always be people that have more than you, and there'll always be people that have less than you, no matter what." It's really easy though to see the plenty or "easy life" and think, "I want I want I want!" Like you said, I don't think that's unique to a blog, but it's just the human condition. The ubiquity of the internet has certainly taken things to a whole 'nother level though, so to speak.
The other great advice was some that Margaret gave Abby and me during our counseling. "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides." I think that's exactly what you're getting at. People can have a lot of editorial freedom in what they share and hold back in a blog, and I'm sure it's tough to share the unpleasant things. It creates a very real and public vulnerability that we're conditioned from a very young age to avoid.
In addition to a lot of keeping up with the jonses-ness, one of the websites I frequent has a section called Prayers and Support, and I think it's a great thing. I can read a lot of the main part of the website and think there's a lot of stuff I want, then I read that and get my feet planted back in reality. It can be really sobering.
OK - this is post #3 ... so sorry! But I read Darby's blog, too (I LOVE IT!!) and that post has stuck with me for days and days and days! I am so guilty of looking enviously at others everything - from houses, to furnitures, to clothes, to husbands, to babies (to be honest!) anyway - i'm working on it ... i love what the poster before me said - "don't compare your insides to others outsides!" that's a good way to look at it!
Em, I'm glad you commented! I have been missing your comments! :) And I have been thinking about you with all that snow up there! I have to remind myself that even as I look at someone whom I think "has it all," they are probably looking at someone else thinking the same thing. I am trying to make the choice daily to feel happy and satisfied with where I am in life because I do know how incredibly blessed I am!
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