Where is a good man when I need one?

Last night when I got home from work, I went to the backyard to feed the dogs. It was dark by this point, and Ellie ran up to greet me. I was reaching down to pet her head when she dropped something at my feet. When I realized it was a dead squirrel, complete with rigor mortis set in, I started screaming bloody murder! I was talking to Christopher on the phone, so she of course thought something was wrong with the baby and was panicking on the other end of the line. Once I calmed down enough to tell her what it was, she got tickled because she says has never heard me scream like that before. And I believe her. I was so freaked out and grossed out at the same time! My mom (who is in town to keep the babe on Monday and Friday this week) also came running outside with a half-naked baby thinking I was being attacked. When I retold the story to John later, he did not like the fact that Mom came out there unarmed with our baby under the impression that someone was after me. Unfortunately John is in San Diego this week, so I knew I would have to take care of the situation by myself. I didn't really know what to do, but I didn't want to the dogs to get rabies by gnawing on the thing, and I was so grossed out thinking about them enjoying their little snack if I left it, so I went inside to change clothes so I could dispose of the carcass. When I came back outside, the squirrel was no where to be found. I heard Cooper growling as Ellie and I approached him, so I knew he must be guarding his treasure. So I peered into the doghouse, and there was the squirrel lying on the dog bed. By this point Hurricane Ida was moving through, so I was getting soaked as I stared at the doghouse trying to figure out how in the hell to get the animal out without going near it. I won't bore you with more details, but I was eventually successful in getting it to the trash, but my legs were literally trembling and I screamed the whole time. I'm not sure what all came out of my mouth, but I do remember a lot of "Oh God's." I kept imagining that it was playing "opposum" and that it was going to jump out and attack me. And frankly I'm a little disappointed that none of my neighbors felt the need to check on me. I mean, I was being pretty loud, and I definitely heard someone outside. But I was ignored. Whatever happened to being neighborly?

I miss John.