All Dogs Go to Heaven

Our sweet Ellie girl went to Doggy Heaven this morning. I know this will probably come as a surprise to  most of our friends reading this, but I really haven't wanted to talk about it. And I have honestly been in denial all week {and still really can't believe it happened}. We are so, so sad.

Ever since Ellie got diagnosed with Addison's Disease at the beginning of April, things haven't been normal with her. She lost a bunch of weight, hardly ate, barked all the time {which she has always done but it had gotten worse}, and just basically acted nuts. But in the last month or so, she had lost control of her bladder and started using the bathroom all over our house, most recently on our couch and Curran's upholstered toy bench in the play room. That was kind of the last straw that caused me to reach out to our Vet for help. She confirmed what we feared: given Ellie's health issues plus the incredible expense that comes with caring for a dog with Addison's, we would not be able to find a place or any family who would be willing to take her. That left us with only one option, and the Vet agreed that that was really the best option at this point.

So we made the incredibly difficult decision to put Ellie down this morning. I cried all week every time I thought about it. I could hardly hold myself together at work. My heart was breaking at the thought. Ellie was my first baby. I got her the summer I finished graduate school and moved back to Birmingham. For those of you that may not know, she is my brother-in-law's dog's {Sadie} daughter. She turned 7 yesterday. I'll be the first to admit that she has not gotten the attention she has deserved since we had Curran. She and Cooper {our other dog} were our babies until we had Curran. But just because she was no longer #1 doesn't mean we loved her any less. She was wild, extremely smart, loud, loved to play catch, and was high maintenance, but most of all she was sweet and loyal. There is a hole in our hearts.

John and I were with her until the end. We held her until she was no longer in this world, and it broke my heart to leave the clinic without her. I know some people are thinking "she is just a dog", but it still hurts. Our hearts are broken. And I feel so bad for Cooper to be without his sister and best friend. And I'm dreading Curran asking questions. When John and I were leaving for the vet this morning, we were all out front when my sister walked up {she was babysitting the girls for us}, and Ellie was out there with us and Curran kept saying to Christopher, "That's Ellie! That's my dog!". John and I just looked at each other and cried.

John and I went to dinner tonight, and John's steak came with bone marrow (yuck). The waitress asked if we had a dog at home we wanted to take the bone to. We just looked at each other in silence, and I think we made the waitress feel very awkward. Tears come at the most unexpected times. My brain knows we made the right decision- she is no longer suffering. But my heart just feels guilt and sadness.

This was a picture of her at Craig's before I even decided which dog I wanted. She was the runt. And she nipped at my toes the every time I visited. I was in love.

This was right after she came home with me to my apartment. I could not have been convinced otherwise that an apartment wasn't a perfectly acceptable place to raise a puppy.

John playing with Ellie.

With her sister, Syndey, who my parents took home.

Her favorite thing to do was hide under this sheep skin I brought back from Australia about 2 years earlier. She made short work of that thing.

Sheela and I lived together that year, and that was her first time holding a dog. Or any animal for that matter. The fact that our friendship survived Ellie says a lot about us. :) She tore that apartment up.

John had this pic framed on his bedside table for along time.

Dressed up for Halloween the next year. She did not like me for that one.

This was about 3 years ago. Ellie and Cooper {our other dog that we got when Ellie was 2} always did love to cuddle.

this morning :(

We will always love you, Elle Belle!