Breastfeeding Numero Dos

I have been planning on writing this post for a while, but the farther I get out from breastfeeding, the less important it seems to get all this down on "paper." But I know I want to post it because I have been "writing" this post in my head for the last year. A few things: this post will probably be long and, more than likely, boring. Also, for all you English majors out there, I know breastmilk is two words but am making it one to avoid creepy googlers. I'm sure this post will contain TMI, so if this ain't yo thang, please don't read. This is just my experience and opinions. Inevitably this topic of conversation gets people heated. The point of this post is to be a reference for me years from now. 

Ok, so where to start? I didn't think breastfeeding round two would be much different from the first, but I was wrong about that almost from the start. With Curran, she latched on and never looked back. We never had one problem. No latch issues, no clogged ducts, no mastitis. Nothing. I never even worried or stressed about her getting enough. I was just confident in what I was doing. The only "problem", if you want to call it that, came when my supply started rapidly decreasing around 8 months and I had to start supplementing with formula at 10 months. I still nursed her morning until she was 12 months old, but my plan didn't go exactly how I wanted. She was fine, and I eventually got over the disappointment.

With Sallie Cate, she latched right away too and did great that first day. But by the second day, she was coming off after a few seconds and getting so mad and frustrated. We both were. I think she was hungry. I know they say babies don't get "hungry" within the first few days after birth, and I used to agree, but after my experience with SC, I know she really was experiencing hunger because she wasn't getting the milk she wanted. Thankfully my milk came in before we left the hospital, but that miserable second day of nursing put a big crack in my confidence in how easy this would be the second time around. I started second guessing myself constantly, worrying if she was getting enough milk. She was a very efficient nurser, which I know normally comes with age, but she was only 4 days old and was nursing just several minutes per side. I had an app on my phone that kept track of which side I started with {because OH MY WORD, I could not remember what I did 30 seconds ago in those early days) and how long she nursed on each side. When she was only nursing 4-5 minutes per side, I was worried and called lactation. She basically told me not to worry since my milk was in and that second babies are notoriously efficient eaters and that it wasn't necessary to go by that "15 minutes on each side" rule. It still didn't make me feel much better, and I spent the first month of her life fighting to get her to nurse longer. And it wasn't just the fact that she nursed quickly. She would pull off after only a minute or two and get very fussy, and then she would refuse to latch back on.

At the beginning of June, she was only nursing about 2-3 min per side and seemed to get frustrated easily, so I made a trip to the hospital to see lactation. After doing a pre- and post- weight, it was clear she was getting a good amount of milk. Of course, she nursed perfectly while we were there. :) The nurse told me to put away that app away, and it was the best advice I had been given yet. I never looked at the app again and my stress level went down instantly.

{I think her reflux issues also caused her to be a fussy nurser but she was on medicine for that.}

Like most babies, SC preferred one side to the other, so I figured out if I started with the least favorite side, she would nurse for a few minutes longer {as opposed to when I started with the favorite side, because she would never nurse on the opposite side after that}. We eventually found our groove, and things got much easier.

Since I was going back to work when SC was 12 weeks old, I needed to start building up a frozen supply. So once she started sleeping from 8pm-12am reliably, I started pumping around 10pm. I produced a lot of milk at that time and it allowed me to get a good stockpile going.

Going back to work was tough because, unlike when I returned to work after having Curran, this time I didn't have my own office to pump in. Luckily there was a lactation room that had just been opened, but there was only ONE room that was meant to be shared among who-knows-how-many moms, so that made me really nervous. Thankfully, I only ran into it being used once when I needed it, so it felt like it was my own little private room, and I grew to really look forward to the quiet time that I got in there for about 15 minutes 3 times a day. However, I have the type of job that does not allow for me to leave easily. The only break I have is for lunch. Otherwise, I have patients scheduled all day long. There is almost never a lull between patients. So I was very nervous as to how I would be able to get away from clinic to pump. Not to mention, the rooms was four floors down so it took a few extra minutes to get down there and back. Thankfully, my coworkers were very patient and understanding, and I made it work. Some days it was super stressful because we would get backed up, and I HATE making patients wait, but it worked out ok most days. 

Things went very well for the next several months and I was pleasantly surprised that my supply was keeping steady past the point when it started dropping with C. The only real issue I had during that time was when SC started biting me {well she had always been a biter, but when her teeth came in at 7 months, things got trickier}. She was breaking the skin, and those wounds would reopen when I was pumping, and I wouldn't realize it until I was done pumping and would look down at the milk. So I had to throw out several bottles of milk that were filled with blood. Nasty! Thankfully that got better and she eventually quit biting.

I got food poisoning when SC was about 10.5 months, and that totally screwed me up. I was so dehydrated that I would pump and not even have a let down. A few days later, I got somewhat back to normal during the day, but the supply at my nighttime pumping session had decreased dramatically, so I went ahead and dropped that session all together. I had planned to do it at 11 months anyway, so I was just about 2 weeks ahead of schedule. I decided to wean slowly, so once SC turned 11 months, I dropped the afternoon pumping session at work {and that corresponding feeding session on the days I was home with her}. It was the least amount I pumped, so it made the most sense to drop that one next. About two weeks later, I dropped the morning pumping session {and feeding at home}, so that meant I was totally done pumping! I was glad to be done with that darn pump, but I was still a little sad about the change. I had a ton of frozen milk stored up, so during those times I dropped that feeding at home, I gave her a bottle of pumped milk. I nursed SC morning and night until 3 days before her birthday when I dropped the nighttime feeding. Then the day before her birthday, I didn't have a let down in the morning when I was trying to feed her. I thought it was so strange, but I figured that was all the sign that it was time to be done with nursing. I had planned to continue nursing her for as long as my body would keep up {knowing good and well it wouldn't for much longer}. However, when I nursed her the next morning {her birthday}, things were actually back to normal, but given the fact that I had made it to one year {my goal}, I decided to go ahead and make that the last time I nursed her. Or so I thought. I guess I didn't wean slowly enough between dropping those last two feedings {bedtime and morning} because two days later I was absolutely miserable, so I ended up nursing her again just for comfort. And about two weeks later, I was still in so much pain that I had to do something to relieve myself {I'll spare you the details} because she wouldn't really focus to nurse at that point. It was so strange. I never had issues like that after weaning C, so it was totally foreign to me. In hindsight, I should have spaced out dropping those last two feedings at least a week apart.

I am still so surprised and proud of myself that I made it to one year! It was pretty stressful with my work situation, and I worried about my supply being able to last. Something I did differently this time compared to Curran is that I used my fresh milk from the day before in the next day's bottles. So I was pumping what I needed for her bottles the next day and then freezing whatever was left over. With Curran, my thought was that I needed to use up the older {frozen} milk first so it wouldn't expire. At that time, I didn't know that fresher milk retains more nutrients so it's best to use. The numbers should still work out the same, but I swear that made a difference in how long I lasted with SC. I didn't have to start dipping into my frozen supply until after she was 10 months old, whereas with C, I froze what I pumped that day and thawed frozen milk for the next day's bottles, so I was draining the frozen supply right away {even though I was replacing it with what I pumped that day- eyes going crossed after reading that}.  

Overall I felt like I was producing less milk with Sallie Cate, but somehow I was able to surpass my goal of nursing her/giving her breastmilk until her first birthday. And SC actually took more ounces than C ever did. It's miraculous- like the fish and the loaves! :)  SC got breastmilk until she was almost 14 months old. The frozen supply went a lot faster than I thought it would though. I had to store it all in my sister's deep freezer because we didn't have room at our house, and just looking at how much was in there, I thought we would be using it until she was at least 15-16 months, but given that I was still fixing her four, 7 oz bottles per day, it went quickly.

I was more structured about pumping this time. If I had to run errands and was going to miss a feeding, I took my pump. If I was going out to eat lunch with John or my sister during work, I took my pump and pumped in the car. I pumped so many times in the car this past year. I never once pumped in the car with C. I just wasn't that regimented about it, I guess. Or maybe I didn't go anywhere that required missing a feeding/pumping.

I'm going to say this and it's not meant to offend anyone. But I think if you breastfeed at all, whether it's for 1 month, 6 months, or 18 months, you deserve a huge amount of praise. But if you WORK and continue to breastfeed, you deserve a big fat slap on the back {yes, I am shamelessly patting myself on the back here}. It is not easy. It takes so much dedication, diligence, and sacrifice. And in a job like mine, the decision to pump at work affects more than just me, so it can't be taken lightly. But it's a decision I have never regretted, and both times have been sad when the time ended. 

Now that being said, if you decided breastfeeding wasn't for you {or you weren't able to for some reason}, then you still deserve a pat on the back. Having a baby is no walk in the park, no matter how they're fed, diapered, swaddled, sleep trained, etc. It takes a lot of work and self-sacrifice, and we all need to encourage one another.

I have so many friends who have asked me nursing/pumping advice over the years, and you think you will never forget it, but somehow you do, so I wanted to jot this all down for my own sake, and maybe this will help someone else out there. I don't know. I'm sorry if this post is all over the place. I'm certain there are some parts that make no sense to anyone but me.

Whew.