Baby # 3

It's not news to anyone who reads this blog, I'm sure, but I need to document it here. We are expecting our third baby and could not be more excited and thankful! It felt like it was a long road to get here, but even as happy as I am, the past few months have been filled with fear and anxiety as well. Now that we are through the first trimester, I definitely feel like the anxiety has gotten better and that I am able to be more excited. I am 16 weeks now. I will be anxious to get the anatomy scan out of the way in early May.

We found out we were expecting in mid January and were able to tell our families in person fairly soon after finding out. We wanted to wait to tell the girls until after our first doctor's appointment, and we started telling friends after that.

We didn't keep it a secret for long because 1) the girls told everyone they saw, whether they personally knew them or not, and 2) my friends always figure me out pretty quickly anyway. And with the journey we had been on, most of our friends knew to be expecting it anyway.

We decided to do the panorama genetic blood work because of my "advanced maternal age" and because of what we went through with my sister. We are just all scarred from that. I had my blood work drawn on a Thursday at a regular appointment (I was 11 weeks, 3 days), and I got a call from my nurse that following week on Friday. I had carried my phone with me all day knowing that was probably the soonest I would hear from her. I walked outside for 5 minutes without my phone, and wouldn't you know that's when she called. The office was closed so I knew I couldn't call back. That was the longest two hours as I waited for her to call me back. She first gave me the wonderful news that all the genetic markers came back normal! Then she asked if I wanted to know what we were having and I said of course!  (Since it's a chromosomal test, they can determine the gender.) She said, "You're having a sweet little BOY!" I couldn't believe it! I was laughing and crying at the same time. I called John to tell him the good news (minus the gender) and told him to come home. It was around 4:30 at this point. I then called Chris to see if she could watch the girls so I could go get some balloons. John went and picked the girls up from Chris' on his way home, and then they came home so I could share the news with them. The video below is John and the girls finding out.

I knew C would react that way because she wanted a girl. She never would tell us what her guess was because she didn't want to be wrong. I have no idea where she gets that. :) So I didn't know until this moment that her guess was a girl. I'm not sure if she was more upset that it was a boy or that she was wrong. SC wanted a girl, but her guess was boy. Clearly she was very excited. John, per usual, didn't give much of a reaction. He said he was just so happy that the blood work looked good that finding out the gender was totally secondary.

My parents were in town for my niece's birthday party, and they and the Heys were coming over for dinner that night, so it was really fun to share the news with them in person. Curran had somewhat recovered by then and was excited to at least be the one to spill the beans to them.

At that appointment, we ended up being there for a long time because something really tragic was going on with another one of the doctor's patients. He felt so bad that we had to wait (I did not care AT ALL) that he offered to let us have an ultrasound to have a peek at the baby.

It was the cutest thing. He was flipping all around, waving his hand, putting the hand near his mouth, kicking- it was all so adorable, especially considering he was only about 1.5 inches big, and I could not stop crying. It was such a treat! And our little fella officially has a name- John Michael Quinn, Jr, and we'll call him John. It took us a long time to come up with that one. :)

As far as this pregnancy goes, I have felt pretty similar to the way I did the last two times. I started feeling very nauseated around 5 weeks, which I was actually really thankful for. When I had the miscarriage in the Fall, I had a couple of pregnancy symptoms, but never felt sick, so I was very excited to feel sick this time, as weird as that sounds. It was reassuring. I was sicker in the morning this time, and with the girls I always felt sicker at night. But I have craved the same things with all three pregnancies- hot sandwiches and baked potatoes. There was a week when I went to Mama Goldbergs three times, and that's more than I had ever been there in my life! :) I have also been going to Saw's quite often to get a stuffed baker. The major difference in this pregnancy was that I did not throw up. I was pretty sick with the girls, so that was the only inkling I had that this baby might be a boy. I still felt sick all the time and had a few very close calls when I went running to the bathroom, but nothing ever happened. Well until this past Saturday night. I actually got sick for the first time, but I think it was more due to my prenatal vitamin that I take at night. I have had to be very careful about timing when I take my morning meds and night time meds because that is what makes me feel the most sick. Thankfully I dropped one medicine (four tablets) from my old lady medicine chest this week. I am slowly starting to feel better but definitely still have bouts of nausea.

I felt him move for the first time between 14 and 15 weeks! Curran and I were lying on the beach, and I was really uncomfortable and was trying to make a little hole in the sand for my belly. It was pretty smushed and all of a sudden I felt him move. I have felt him just a couple of times since then. It's still very hard to discern. I had to break out the maternity jeans a couple of times this past week. I can still wear most of my regular clothes, but the maternity jeans are just so much more comfortable!

I have bought the baby a few things, and that has been really fun. It's weird and exciting to be seeing little boy things after seven years of buying girl things. I still can't quite wrap my mind around it. And we are thrilled that my sister is having another boy just three months before me. We know they will be the best of friends and are so very grateful for these sweet blessings!

On the day I found out we were pregnant back in September, I was completely elated but also terrified. My nephew's death was still so fresh, and I was worried about all that could go wrong. I was standing in our driveway and saw a cardinal (cardinals remind us of our nephew) and there was a little blue bird standing near him. Then during our miscarriage, I was lying on the couch and noticed a cardinal on our deck, and they never come that close to our house. So I got up to look, and there was a little baby blue bird hopping along next to him. After that, every time I saw a blue bird, it made me think of the baby we lost. Before Christmas, I was online looking for a present for my sister, and when I saw this print with the little blue bird on the swing, I knew I had to have it. When it arrived, I hid it in my closet and have not pulled it out until tonight when I took a picture of it. I had no idea when we would be pregnant again, but I bought it in the hopes that we would be able to hang it in a nursery soon. On the day I found out I was pregnant in January, I looked out the kitchen window and saw a blue bird. I hadn't seen any in weeks prior to that, and have never seen one in that part of our yard because it's so close to our neighbor's driveway. I'm not saying that I think every little thing is a sign from God, but I do think He is faithful to send them when we need them. 

After we lost my nephew, my sister and I would always talk about how maybe we would be pregnant together and what a sort of redemption that would be. When I found out I was pregnant in September, I knew in my heart that Christopher was too, even though she wouldn't have even known it yet. I just knew when I told her we were pregnant that she would tell us the same thing, even though it was early. It turns out our due dates were 12 days apart. The miscarriage was heartbreaking anyway, but I was even sadder since it had all felt like perfect timing. 

We may not always understand God's plans, but that doesn't mean they aren't still good or even better than we imagined. We still get to have our "twin cousins". Our sweet baby Wilkes and baby John have helped heal a lot of hurt in our family, and we are so thankful for them!