Hard

Today I had a long list of to-do's in order to get ready for Sallie Cate's first birthday party tomorrow. But instead I spent the afternoon at a funeral. A funeral for an 11 month old. The exact same age as my littlest girl.

I found out on Tuesday night that my pledge sister's little girl passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Sunday. I was utterly shocked, devastated and heartbroken for her. While this girl and I were not super close in college, having a baby at the same time reconnected us over this past year, and we kept up with each other via Facebook, trading pediatrician info, sharing breastfeeding advice and encouragement, and writing admiring comments on each other's pictures.

This hits way too close to home. It reiterates what we all know to be true: Life is short. It is a gift from God, and we are not promised tomorrow. It shouldn't take tragic things to make us remember this, yet sometimes it does. 

Just last week this mom made a comment on Facebook about trying to plan her daughter's first birthday. But instead she ended up planning a funeral. It doesn't seem fair that I still get to have my baby's party tomorrow, but she does not. I left the funeral and went on about running my errands for the party. Albeit with a very heavy heart and near constant tears in my eyes. But it felt wrong. I know we all have to go in living and celebrating happy moments with the ones we love, but it just seems so unfair. 

The only comfort at a time like this is that her parents know just where she is, and they rest knowing they will be with her again one day.

"So we do not lose heart... For this momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18